KEEPING UP WITH THE DEVERAUXES
KEEPING UP WITH THE DEVERAUXES
IN on JENNIFER, sitting on her bed in her pajamas and trying not to think of where JACK may be. She thinks back to how he left her that morning, how he said he had something to do.
FADE OUT of flashback, to JENNIFER, contemplating what he meant by that statement. She sighs and begins to turn down the bed when she sees a flash of headlights in the window.
JENNIFER: (BREATHLESS) Jack! (RUNS TO THE WINDOW TO SEE IF IT'S HIM)
SCENE 2: INT. J & J'S LIVING ROOM
IN on the front door. The doorknob is being jiggled because someone is having trouble opening it.
JO enters from the kitchen, in her robe, holding a box of Mallomars and a glass of milk. She is frightened at who may be at the door.
JO: (SCARED) Oh, dear. (SETTING HER SNACKS ON THE COFFEE TABLE AND WALKING TO THE DOOR AND TRYING TO PEEK OUT THE PEEPHOLE, BUT ALL SHE SEES IS SOMEONE BENT OVER TRYING TO GET IN) Oh my! (LOOKING FOR SOME SORT OF WEAPON, SHE FINALLY PICKS UP AN UMBRELLA AND OPENS THE DOOR AND SWINGS AT THE "INTRUDER") You, you, slimeball!! Why, I should! (REALIZING WHO IT IS) Jack!
OUT on JACK, very drunk, covering his head, in shock that his own mother would think he was breaking in.
SCENE 3: INT. J & J'S LIVING ROOM
JACK: Talk about a welcome home. (WALKING PAST HER INTO THE LIVING ROOM)
JO: (SEETHING AND CLOSING THE DOOR) Jack, what are you doing lurking outside in the middle of the night? What are you doing out in the middle of the night period? You said you'd be back hours ago.
JACK: (FLOPPING STOMACH FIRST ON THE COUCH) I did?
JO: (PUTTING UP THE UMBRELLA AND WALKING INTO THE LIVING ROOM AND TURNING ON A LAMP) Yup. You did. Good Lord, son, we almost sent the calvary out for you.
JACK: (LOOKING UP ODDLY AT HER) The calvary? Can't a grown man go out, have a little fun? Wait a minute, wait a minute (SITTING UP), are you trying to get back at me for all those fun teenage years you missed with me? Well, let me tell you something...
JO: (CROSSING HER ARMS DEFIANTLY) Uh-uh, I don't want to hear it. I'm just glad you're home and safe.
JACK: Home and safe, home and safe...safe at home...
JO: How much have you had to drink?
JACK: Clearly not enough if I can still understand what you're saying.
JO: Son, I can smell your breath all the way from over here.
JACK: You should see what it smells like over here. Bonafide weed killer.
JO: You know, I'm not the only one who's been worried sick about you, Jack. (SITTING DOWN IN AN ARMCHAIR) Jennifer's been worried sick, too.
PAN to JENNIFER, who catches these words as she comes down the stairs. Seeing as no one heard her, she decides to duck behind a wall and listen.
JACK: (WISTFULLY) Jennifer. Jen-ni-fer (BEGINNING TO SING HER NAME) Jennifer, Jennifer, Jennifer. It sounds melodic, doesn't it?
JO: (SMILING WEAKLY) Are you alright?
JACK: (GETTING UP) Alright? I couldn't be better. (WALKING TO THE BAR, UNLOCKING IT, AND POURING HIMSELF A SCOTCH) I've got a great wife, wait, a great ex-wife, a great family, wait, a great pseudo-family, and a great job, wait a minute, I don't even have one of those.
JO: Oh no you don't, I don't want to hear any of that.
JACK: Of what?
JO: Of your pity-party mantras. You know you have a good thing here and you know it has the potential to get better, if..
JACK: If what?
JO: If (WALKING OVER AND SNATCHING THE CUP OUT OF HIS HAND) you'd work on it. You can start by not going out and drinking your troubles away.
JACK: (LOOKING AT HER WITH ANNOYANCE) I wish.
JO: You wish what? That a bottle could take away all your troubles? Let me be the first to tell you, it can't.
JACK: I know that!
JO: Then act like you do!
JACK: (LOWERING HIS VOICE) Can I...can I please have my drink back?
JO: (SITTING DOWN DEFIANTLY) No. Not until you tell me what's troubling you.
OUT on JACK, upset that she insists on knowing what's wrong.
SCENE 4: INT. J & J'S LIVING ROOM
IN on JENNIFER, peering around the corner. She is curious about what JACK is going to say.
CUT to JACK and JO
JACK: What makes you think something's wrong? I told you everything was fine, just peachy-keen...
JO: I'm not buying it, Jack.
JACK: There really is nothing to buy. (REACHING FOR HIS CUP) Now are you going to give me back my drink or am I going to have to pour another?
JO: (RELUCTANTLY HANDING HIM BACK HIS CUP) Fine. Drink yourself silly, I won't care.
JACK: Why should you?
JO: Why should I what?
JACK: Why should you care? Why should anyone? I'm just Jack "doomed to fail" Deveraux. Really, people should place their bets against me.
JO: What are you talking about?
JACK: (TAKING A BIG SIP OF HIS SCOTCH) Please, you know what I'm talking about. Wacky Jack Deveraux, can't win for losing.
JO: Jack, don't-
JACK: Don't what? Don't list my failures? Afraid you won't get to eat your, your (LOOKING AT THE COOKIE BOX SHE HAS PUT DOWN) mallomars? I could go on for hours.
JO: And I won't believe a word of it.
JACK: You won't, will you? I could sit here and talk about everything I...everything I screwed up...the paper, my family. I could talk till I'm blue in the face and you'll still sit there and think I'm just perfect. Just fine the way I am...
JO: (STANDING UP) You are, son. Can't you see that? What you do is fine because it works for you.
JACK: (WAVING HER OFF) That's garbage.
JO: It is not!
JACK: It is so! All of that (STOPPING, SEEING JENNIFER RUSH DOWN THE STAIRS, STOP AND LOOK HIM STRAIGHT IN THE EYE) is garbage.
JENNIFER: It is not, Jack. And Jo's not the only one who thinks that.
OUT on JACK, knowing he's in for quite the argument.
SCENE 5: INT. J&J'S LIVING ROOM
JO: (LOOKING FROM JACK TO JENNIFER, SURPRISED) Jennifer--
JENNIFER: (IGNORING JO) Garbage? How can you say that's garbage, Jack?
JACK: Listen, Jennif-
JENNIFER: No, how can you say that? After everything we've been through-
ABBY: (V.O.) Mommy! Daddy! Is something wrong?
JO: (LOOKING FROM THE TWO OF THEM, WHO ARE NERVOUSLY LOOKING UP THE STAIRS) Oh, Abby. I'll go get her. (RUSHING OFF, KNOWING THERE IS GOING TO BE ONE HELL OF A FIGHT)
JACK: You forgot your mallo-(REACHING OVER AND EATING ONE OF HER COOKIES) These are disgusting! I'd much prefer a Napoleon. (TRYING TO LIGHTEN THE MOMENT) Hey, do we have any of those left?
JENNIFER: (WALKING OVER WITH HER HAND ON HER HIP) Where were you all night, Jack?
JACK: I was...I was out. I said I had something to take care of.
JENNIFER: You said that this morning. Was the something you getting drunk? Let me tell you, Jack, you succeeded. (BEAT) You didn't drive home did you?
JACK: I may not know how to handle my liquor, but I'm not stupid. I got a ride home.
JENNIFER: From who, Jack?
JACK: From...from Princess Von Amburg...(DUCKING AROUND HER TO AVOID HER EYES)
OUT on JENNIFER, seething.
SCENE 6: INT. J & J'S LIVING ROOM
JENNIFER: (TURNING TOWARDS HIM AND CROSSING HER ARMS. HURT.) You...you called Greta?
JACK: Well, actually, I didn't call her. She was...she was already there...
JENNIFER: At a bar? It doesn't seem like a very royal thing to do. Get sloshed with the common folk.
JACK: Hey, wait a minute, I'm not common folk. I'll have you know I can trace my ancestry back to three dukes and two heiresses.
JENNIFER: (THROWING HIM A LOOK AND UNCROSSING HER ARMS) So, you go to a bar and find the princess...
JACK: I did no such thing. Like I said, she was already there...we ran into each other...(LIGHTBULB MOMENT) does that bother you?
JENNIFER: (LYING AND TURNING AWAY) No.
JACK: Yes it does. It bothers you. Jennifer Rose Horton, you are jealous!
JENNIFER: (TURNING TOWARDS HIM) I am not!
JACK: (LAUGHING) You are too. Look at you, you're practically green with envy. Did you...did you want to have a few drinks with me?
JENNIFER: (WALKING TO THE BAR AND POURING HERSELF A GLASS OF SCOTCH) No...I tell you what though, I need a drink now. (DRINKING IT IN ONE GULP)
JACK: (IN SHOCK) Jennifer!
JENNIFER: (LYING) I am not jealous of Greta or any other princess that comes along. Why should I be? Do I have a reason to be jealous, Jack?
JACK: No, but...
JENNIFER: But what? (WALKING AWAY FROM THE BAR AND COMING CLOSER TO HIM) I just wanted you to come home so we can talk, that's all. (GETTING EMOTIONAL) Talk about what I told you last night but you couldn't do that, could you, Jack? And then I thought that maybe he needs some time to think, sometime to process what I told him but I was wrong. Instead, you were out doing the complete opposite-muddling up your mind, trying to forget. And then you come home and try and turn it around on me. (LOOKING DOWN AND TUCKING HER HAIR BEHIND HER EARS) I don't know what to do, Jack. I don't know what to do. I can't keep making excuses for you, Jack. I can't. (SHAKING HER HEAD, SHE WALKS TO THE STAIRS)
JACK: (REALIZING HOW BADLY HE HURT HER) Jennifer, wait-what you said, it's not true.
JENNIFER: What, Jack, you weren't out getting drunk and leaving me alone? You were really here all along? Did you not just avoid all my questions?
JACK: Well, no, but-
JENNIFER: (SIGHING) Goodnight, Jack.
JENNIFER: (HEADING UP THE STAIRS) Goodnight.
JACK turns his back towards her and rubs his chin, knowing how hard this must be for her. It hurts him more than he realized, too. JENNIFER pauses behind him and sees that he's distraught but can't deal. She exits up the stairs.
SCENE 7: INT. JENNIFER'S BEDROOM
IN on JENNIFER, walking in and sitting down on her bed, thinking about what JACK had just said. She is tired and emotional.
JENNIFER: (TO HERSELF) Jack, why can't you just make this easy? Why does it always have to be so hard for us?
SCENE 8: INT. J&J'S LIVING ROOM
JACK: (SOMBERLY GOING TO SHUT OFF THE LIGHTS. THINKING ABOUT JENNIFER. TO HIMSELF) Why does this have to be so hard, Jennifer? Can't you see that I'm doing this for us, for you?
(TURNING OFF THE FINAL LIGHT, HE WALKS SLOWLY UP THE STAIRS)
END OF EPISODE 55