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KEEPING UP WITH THE DEVERAUXES
By Jennifer-Lynn D'Anna
EPISODE 48

SCENE 1: INT. JACK'S BEDROOM-EVENING

IN on JACK, standing in front of a floor-length mirror, dressed in a black tux, trying to tie his tie. He is so nervous he can't do it.

JACK: (TO HIMSELF) Where is Jennifer when I need her?

ABBY has walked in and is amused by his talking to himself.

ABBY: (SMILING) Hi Daddy.

JACK'S face lights up seeing her.

JACK: (ADMIRING HER DRESS) Don't we look pretty, Little Miss Formal Wear? (INDICATING FOR HER TO SPIN)

ABBY smiles and spins in her dress, which is red satin and short-sleeved. Her hair is curled and she is wearing a wreath of red roses as a crown.

JACK: (SCOOPING HER UP) Wonderful.

ABBY: (PULLING AT HIS TIE) Daddy, are you having trouble with your tie again?

JACK: Again? Who told you I have trouble with it in the first place?

ABBY: (SMILING) Mommy.

JACK: Mommy? What does Mommy know?

ABBY: How to tie a tie. She taught me, too.

JACK: She did? (SETTING HER ON THE BED SO THAT SHE CAN STAND AND REACH HIM) Well, whaddya say, sister, you wanna help your dear old dad?

ABBY laughs and goes to tie his tie as JO walks in, dressed in her robe.

JO: (MOVED) Don't you two make the most beautiful sight? (STARTING TO SNIFFLE)

JACK: (SMILING NERVOUSLY) Oh, now, don't you start.

JO: What do you mean?

JACK: (GLANCING AT ABBY, STILL TYING AND THEN TO HER) You know exactly what I mean. A Kodak moment. Pretty soon you'll be scurrying off to grab your camera and then before we know it-cheese! (SMILING FAKELY)

JO: Oh, son.

JACK: (ROLLING HIS EYES) And now the "oh sons". Did you get the goods?

JO: They're on Jennifer's bed. Really Jack, I never would've spent that much on a dress.

JACK: Thank God for credit cards. You got the shoes?

JO: (WAVING HIM OFF) Now don't you worry I got everything. What about you? Have you gotten everything you need?

JACK: Let's see...flowers...check...gift...check...tux...check...tie (TO ABBY) Little Miss Muffet, how we doin' on the tie?

ABBY: All done. (SHE SMILES PROUDLY AND STEPS BACK)

JACK looks down at his tie, which ABBY has tied in knots. He smiles sweetly to her and then to JO, who is quite amused.


SCENE 2: INT. J&J'S LIVING ROOM

IN on JENNIFER, curled up on the couch, watching t.v. The doorbell rings.

JENNIFER: (GETTING UP) Jo! I think Vern's here. (WALKING OVER AND OPENING THE DOOR, SMILING) Vern.

VERN: Jenny-Girl. (HANDING HER A BOUQUET OF WILDFLOWERS) For you. Happy Birthday.

JENNIFER: (SMELLING THE FLOWERS AND STEPPING ASIDE TO LET HIM IN) You remembered.

VERN: How could I not? (GLANCING AT HIS WATCH) You're one of my all-time favorite people.

JENNIFER: Oh, Vern, you're so sweet. (KISSING HIM ON THE CHEEK) Jo's not ready yet, so just have a seat.

VERN: Okay. (SITTING DOWN)

JENNIFER: (STARTING TO WALK IN KITCHEN, BUT STOPPING) I'll just go get some water for these.

VERN: Okay. (GLANCING AT HIS WATCH)

JENNIFER: In a hurry, Vern?

VERN: Who me? Um...um...no. Why?

JENNIFER: That's the second time you glanced at your watch in two minutes.

VERN: I'm just....just time obsessed.

JENNIFER: (LAUGHING) Since when? (BEAT) What are you up to?

VERN: Up to?

JENNIFER: You really are starting to sound like Jack, you know that, Vern?

VERN: That's nonsense. (BEAT) Speaking of Jack, what did he get you for your birthday? Oh no, he forgot again, didn't he?

JENNIFER: No, he didn't forget. He and Abby made me a card.

VERN: They did, did they?

JENNIFER: (KNOWING SOMETHING'S UP) Yes they did. (DRAGGING OUT HIS NAME) Vern...

VERN: Oh now, don't you start...

JENNIFER: Start what?

VERN: Now who's sounding like Jack?

JENNIFER: (LAUGHING) Very funny, Vern. I will find out, though, you know that. I'm going to go put these in water and then we'll talk.

JENNIFER exits and VERN hurries to the phone.


SCENE 3: INT. JACK'S BEDROOM

IN on JACK, JO, and ABBY, who are about to leave the bedroom when JACK'S cell phone rings.

JACK: (PICKING IT UP) Pronto.

The screen splits in two.

VERN: Pronto? Jack, really-

JACK: Are you in position?

VERN: (MAKING SURE JENNIFER'S NOT COMING) Posi-Yes, I'm downstairs...She knows we're up to something, though.

JACK: She does, does she? (WAVING TO JO AND ABBY TO GO OUT INTO THE HALL) Just keep up the ruse, Chief, we'll be down in a minute.

VERN: Make it quick, Jack. I'm serious.

JACK: I bet you are. (HANGING UP) Okay. (STEPPING OUT INTO THE HALL WITH JO AND ABBY) Are we ready?

JO: As ready as we're gonna be.

JACK: (LOOKING AT HER ROBE) You're wearing that?

JO: (LOOKING DOWN) Of course not. I have my dress on underneath.

JACK: (SCRATCHING HIS CHIN) Wait a minute...


SCENE 4: INT. J&J'S LIVING ROOM

IN on VERN, hanging up the phone. JENNIFER walks in to see him hang up.

JENNIFER: (SMILING) Who you talking to Vern?

VERN: Um...telemarketers.

JENNIFER: I didn't hear the phone ring.

VERN: I'm really quick, you see.

JENNIFER: (LAUGHING) Okay. You and Jo are a perfect match. You even lie the same.

VERN: (NERVOUS) Speaking of paper-

JENNIFER: Who said anything about paper?

VERN: I did. I...I (PULLING SOME SHEETS OF PAPER OUT OF HIS SUIT JACKET) I did your research.

JENNIFER: (TAKING THE PAPERS) You really are quick, Vern.

VERN: I still don't think it's a good idea keeping it from Jack.

JENNIFER: (READING THE PAPERS) I know. Trust me on this one, Vern, please.

VERN: (COUGHING) Just like Jack.

JENNIFER: What was that?

VERN: Nothing.

JENNIFER: (SMILING) That's what I thought.

VERN: Jenny-Girl, can I look at your cd's?

JENNIFER: (NOT LOOKING UP FROM THE PAPERS) Sure.

VERN walks over to the entertainment center and looks at the cds. He puts one in and walks away with the remote. At the top of the stairs, ABBY peeks her head around and waves to him. VERN presses play and a song begins to play. JENNIFER looks to him and then up as JO, ABBY, and JACK come down the stairs.

"Birthday" by the Beatles

As the guitar intro plays, JACK holds onto ABBY and slides her down the stair rail. JO follows behind carrying chopsticks and the broom and the mop, dancing down the stairs. All three are in their robes. When they reach the bottom of the stairs, they walk over to VERN, who hands ABBY a hairbrush to sing into. They all four put on sunglasses, and take the items from JO to "play" as ABBY begins to "sing". JENNIFER cracks up.

You say it's your birthday
It's my birthday too-yeah

JACK begins to "sing" and dance while strumming his fake broom guitar.

They say it's your birthda
y We're gonna have a good time

JACK leans into ABBY'S "microphone" and they both sing to JENNIFER, who laughs with joy.

I'm glad it's your birthday
Happy birthday to you.

All four of them dance around.

Yes we're going to a party party
Yes we're going to a party party
Yes we're going to a party party.

JACK walks over to JENNIFER and makes her dance a little. ABBY does the twist as JO and VERN dance at each other.

I would like you to dance--Birthday
Take a cha-cha-cha-chance-Birthday
I would like you to dance--Birthday
Dance

JACK and ABBY join the others and they finish out the song. You say it's your birthday
Well it's my birthday too--yeah
You say it's your birthday
We're gonna have a good time
I'm glad it's your birthday

JO, ABBY, and JACK untie their robes and toss them to the side, revealing their formalwear. JENNIFER gasps in surprise.

Happy birthday to you

ABBY: Happy birthday, Mommy! (RUNNING OVER TO HUG JENNIFER)

OUT on JENNIFER, positively beaming at JACK, who is trying to catch his breath.


SCENE 5: INT. J&J'S LIVING ROOM

IN PROGRESS

JENNIFER: (HUGGING ABBY) That was wonderful, Baby. (TO ALL) Really, that was amazing all of you.

JACK: (TAKING OFF HIS SUNGLASSES AND WALKING OVER) You ain't seen nothing yet, baby. (HE STROKES HER HAIR)

JENNIFER: Jack, you're wonderful.

JACK: (SMILING) You're that times two.

ABBY: Did you like my song?

JENNIFER: (BEAMING) I loved your song. (QUIETLY, TO JACK) Thank you, Jack.

JACK: Don't thank me. This song and dance number was all Abigail. As for my part, the night is still young.

JO: Ooh, ooh...Go upstairs and get ready.

JENNIFER: (DELIGHTED) Ready for what?

JO: Just go. Your clothes are on your bed.

JENNIFER: (PLEASANTLY CONFUSED) Okay. (LAUGHING AS SHE WALKS UP THE STAIRS) I'll be right back.

OUT on JENNIFER, walking up the stairs and not taking her eyes off JACK, who stares back at her.


SCENE 6: INT. J&J'S LIVING ROOM

It has been awhile. JACK is alone in the living room, anxiously awaiting JENNIFER. JENNIFER finally descends, wearing a burgundy strapless gown and a shawl draped around her shoulders decorated with burgundy sequins and tulle. Her hair is down, but curled on the ends and she is wearing no jewelry. JACK is amazed by her appearance.

JENNIFER: (MAKING IT DOWN THE LAST STEP) Jack, you're staring.

JACK: (BREATHLESS) I know.

JENNIFER: (NERVOUSLY LAUGHING) You know?

JACK: (TAKING HER HAND) You look...am...amazing.

JENNIFER blushes.

JENNIFER: (TOUCHING THE SHAWL) The dress is really beautiful, Jack.

JACK: Not half as beautiful as you are. (BEAT) Jennifer-

JENNIFER: (SQUEEZING HIS HAND) Jack, thank you for tonight (HE STARTS TO SPEAK, BUT SHE STOPS HIM) don't you say it was nothing. It is something. You have filled my life with so many memorable nights and days that I can't even. (STARTING TO TEAR UP) No, I didn't want to cry.

JACK: (WIPING AWAY A TEAR) Then don't. And to what you just said, just know that...that...the same goes for me...the whole memorable day and nights thing.

JENNIFER: (CLUTCHING HIS HAND ON HER CHEEK) Now I am going to cry.

JACK: (SMILING) No. Come on...(TAKING HER HAND AND WALKING HER OUT THE DOOR) Your chariot...or some reasonable facsimile of it awaits.

JENNIFER and JACK go outside the door, where a horse-drawn carriage is waiting.

JENNIFER: (BREATHLESS) Jack!

JACK: I know...a bit contrived and typical, but hey-

JENNIFER: (LAUGHING) Contrived, typical, and amazing. (SHE PECKS HIM ON THE CHEEK)

JACK: (BLUSHING) And....amazing, I guess. (HOLDING OUT HIS ARM FOR HER) Shall we?

OUT on JACK and JENNIFER, giggling and getting into the carriage.

END OF EPISODE 48

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