KEEPING UP WITH THE DEVERAUXES
By Jennifer-Lynn D'Anna
JENNIFER: (TO ABBY) You want Colin to stay for dinner? (SHE LOOKS OVER TO JACK, WHO SHRUGS AND NODS) Okay. Run inside and tell Colin that Mommy and Daddy said he can stay. Greta's staying too, right, Jack?
JACK: I invited her, yes.
ABBY: Thank you. (SHE RUNS INTO THE LIVING ROOM)
JENNIFER: I'm sorry about that.
JACK: (WAVING HER OFF) Don't-now, let's see if we can rustle up us some eggplant parmesan. Where's the recipe?
JENNIFER: (SMILING) In the cookbook over there.
JACK hands JENNIFER the cookbook. JENNIFER smiles weakly at him. JACK smiles back.
JACK: (CONTINUING TO UNPACK THE GROCERIES) So, what was your day like today? Anything exciting?
JENNIFER: (KNOWING SOMETHING IS UP) Not really. We got a letter from Adrienne and Justin. New pictures of the boys. Jack, are you okay?
JACK: (LYING) Fine. Just dandy.
JENNIFER: You're lying.
JACK: (GESTURING TO THE EGGPLANT IN HIS HAND) Never accuse a man carrying an eggplant. I'm fine. F-I-N-E.
JENNIFER: Is this about Colin staying for dinner?
JACK: For dinner, no.
JENNIFER: Then what is it?
JACK: Honestly? No, don't answer that, you always want to know honestly. Honestly, I'd by lying if I said my curiosity wasn't piqued.
JENNIFER: (NERVOUS) About what? (TRYING TO TAKE INGREDIENTS OUT OF THE CABINETS)
JACK: (CROSSING HIS ARMS) Well, I don't know, about how exactly Dr. Murphy helped you in Africa?
OUT on JENNIFER'S nervousness.
SCENE 2: INT. J & J'S KITCHEN
JENNIFER: (TRYING TO READ THE RECIPE) What do you mean?
JACK: Well, you keep referring to his help in Africa and I find that a bit odd.
JENNIFER: (TAKING THE EGGPLANT FROM HIM TO WASH IT) What's so odd about that? He was my friend, Jack.
JACK: I know that. It's just the way you keep saying it, the word you are using. Help. It sounds like he treated you for a rash or something.
JENNIFER: (GOING BACK TO THE CUTTING BOARD) It wasn't anything like that. Help as in listen, give me advice, stuff like that. Greta's your friend, doesn't she help you with anything?
JACK: She helped me decorate this house, but it's not the same.
JENNIFER: Why isn't it?
JACK: Because, because whatever he helped you with is much more. And I intend to get to the bottom of it.
SCENE 3: INT. J & J'S KITCHEN
JENNIFER: (PUTTING DOWN THE KNIFE) You intend to get to the bottom of it? This is a relationship, Jack, not a story.
JACK: Although you must admit, you do give me an interesting lead.
JENNIFER: (FRUSTRATED) He was my friend, that's all. A friend who I thought meant more when you weren't there. Jack, why are we going over this? I thought we just had a moment.
JACK: We did...we had a moment. And you asked me how I felt and I honestly answered.
JENNIFER: You're right...you're right. (GOING BACK TO THE CUTTING BOARD) I guess I'm just overly emotional these days. Mid-life crisis.
JACK: (NOT BUYING IT) Mid-life crises, eh? How many times do I have to tell you that you are still a child?
JENNIFER smiles weakly back at him.
JACK: I'm going to go back out there and entertain our guests, if I can. Do you need any more help in here?
JENNIFER: No, I'm fine. (GESTURING TOWARDS THE DOOR) Get out of here, silly. I've worked a stove before.
JACK: (CONFUSED) Yeah, right. (HE WATCHES HER AS HE EXITS)
SCENE 4: J & J'S LIVING ROOM
JACK enters to see GRETA, COLIN, ABBY, and JO playing a board game. GRETA seems to be enjoying COLIN'S company.
ABBY: (ROLLING THE DIE) Four! (MOVING HER GAMEPIECE) One, two, three, four.
JO: (REACHING FOR THE DICE, SHE SEES JACK) Son! Abby's gotten us all hooked on Candyland.
GRETA: Hi Jack. Did you take care of the mess in the kitchen?
JACK: (NERVOUSLY SMILING) Taken care of? No. Contained for now? Yes.
COLIN: I really appreciate you and Jennifer's invitation for dinner. It means a lot to me.
JACK: (FAKE SMILING) As it does for us as well. (SITTING DOWN ON THE SOFA) So, I see you've all gotten acquainted.
COLIN: Yes, I met your mother earlier. She's a lovely lady.
JO: (BLUSHING SLIGHTLY) Oh stop. And Greta, or shall I say Princess, is wonderful. I've never met any royalty before. I once met Elvis, but he wasn't really royalty, you know.
JACK: (SMILING) So, Princess, you met my mother?
GRETA: (SMILING WIDELY) Yes, and I'll have to second Colin here (TOUCHING COLIN'S ARM SLIGHTLY). She is a lovely woman.
JACK: I know. (HE SMILES AT JO) Who's winning?
ABBY: I am, Daddy. Two spaces ahead of the Princess.
JACK: Ah, competitive just like her father.
COLIN: I was just telling Greta about my position here at the hospital. I understand you used to be on the board there?
JACK: Used to. Back in my high politician days.
COLIN: Have you ever thought about doing it again?
JACK: Politics, no. Right now I'm just trying to get my family back on track.
A few moments of uncomfortable silence ensues.
GRETA: Jack, Colin was also telling me how he knew you and Jennifer back in Africa?
JACK: (THROUGH CLENCHED TEETH) Yes, he did. Colic, uh, Colin was a very close friend of the family's then. (NOTICING THE WAY GRETA IS LOOKING AT COLIN) Um, Princess, can I borrow you for a moment? (HE GETS UP)
GRETA: (CONFUSED) Borrow me?
JACK: (WALKING TOWARDS THE DOOR) Yes, borrow you. I have to go get some...(SEEING THE MOP) get some more olive oil and thought that maybe, you being the connoisseur that you are of cooking oil could come with me.
GRETA: (GETTING UP RELUCTANTLY) Jack-(SHE WALKS OVER AND HE PUSHES HER OUT THE DOOR)
JACK: (SMILING) We'll be right back.
OUT on COLIN and JO'S confused faces.
SCENE 5: EXT. J & J'S HOUSE
JACK is walking down the walk and turning down the sidewalk. GRETA is trying to keep up with him.
GRETA: Do you mind telling me what that was all about?
JACK: (WALKING AND NOT LOOKING AT HER) What "what" was all about?
GRETA: That...Jack, come on, I know you're perfectly capable of getting olive oil yourself.
JACK: (STOPPING) Okay, okay, I'll tell you!
GRETA jumps back a little.
JACK: (CONT.) That, that man you were fawning over, that man is Jennifer's mystery man.
GRETA: I know. I figured it out.
JACK: You figured it out?
GRETA: Yes. That man, the one you accused me of fawning over, is Doctor X as well.
JACK: Dr--? (REALIZING WHAT SHE MEANT) I'm such an idiot. How many English doctors do we have in Salem?
GRETA: It's okay, Jack. You said yourself that you and Jennifer are okay and that he meant nothing to you both.
JACK: Yes, no....yes, Jennifer and I are somewhat okay and no, he doesn't mean much, unless you count the times that upon seeing him I want to... to claw my own eyeballs out a la Oedipus.
GRETA: What are you saying?
JACK: What I'm saying is that...that....I'm your friend, right?
GRETA: I'm starting to question that decision, but yes, you are.
JACK: Good, then you'll respect what I have to tell you, right?
GRETA: Yes. Jack, really-
JACK: He has a fiancée.
OUT on GRETA'S shock.
SCENE 6: EXT. J & J'S HOUSE
GRETA: He has a what?
JACK: A fiancée. A betrothed. Engaged...soon to be married.
GRETA: How do you know that?
JACK: Jennifer just told me.
GRETA: How does she know that?
JACK: Hope told her. Hope is a Brady. Geez, Salem is not THAT big of a town. It's also full of gossipy old women who sit and trade stories during their sewing circles.
GRETA: (SAD) I can't believe this. I've done it again. Honestly, I'm beginning to question my judgement.
JACK: In men or in general? Listen, I'd be lying if I said I told you that for only your own good. I don't like Colin Murphy for my own reasons and seeing him is not that easy and you... you being around him would only equal me and Jennifer seeing him. (SEEING HOW HURT SHE IS) Hey, don't cry. (HE HUGS HER) You'll find someone.
GRETA: I know. It just seems that all the good ones are taken. Eric, Austin, you-
JACK: (SHOCKED) Me?
GRETA: Not romantically, but you are a good guy, Jack. Jennifer is lucky to have you.
JACK: (BLUSHING A LITTLE) Thank you, I think. Now let's go get some olive oil--and some tissues-- for you.
JACK and GRETA walk down the street.
SCENE 7: J & J'S LIVING ROOM
COLIN, JO, and ABBY have resumed their game. JO continues to look at COLIN as if he is evil and COLIN is very uncomfortable. JENNIFER enters from the kitchen. JO watches JENNIFER and COLIN with great interest.
JENNIFER: Well, dinner's in the oven. We seem to have a full house tonight. Where's Jack and Greta?
COLIN: Gone to go get some more oil. (STANDING UP) Jennifer, I really appreciate this.
JENNIFER: (WAVING HIM OFF) Don't worry about it.
COLIN: No, I know how hard this was for you. For you and Jack, that is. It means a lot to me.
JENNIFER: (INDICATING JO, WHO IS WATCHING) Colin, I...I don't want to talk about it.
The doorbell rings.
JENNIFER: (SMILING WEAKLY) Saved by the bell. Must be Vern. (SHE GOES TO OPEN THE DOOR AND IS SHOCK WHEN SHE OPENS IT TO A WOMAN, DRESSED SCANTILLY)
SCENE 8: INT. JACK AND JENNIFER'S LIVING ROOM
JENNIFER: (SURPRISED) Hi. Can I help you?
WOMAN: (IN ENGLISH ACCENT) Oh, forgive me. Yes, you can help me. I'm Elizabeth, Colin's fiancée. You must be Jennifer Horton. Colin's talked greatly about you. (SHE EXTENDS HER HAND TO SHAKE JENNIFER'S)
JENNIFER: (IN SHOCK) Elizabeth? Oh, nice to meet you. Come in. (GESTURING FOR HER TO ENTER)
ELIZABETH: I don't mean to trouble you, but Mrs. Brady said that Colin was over here.
JENNIFER: Yes, he's in the living room. So, you've known Colin for awhile, I assume. (SHE STARTS WALKING INTO THE LIVING ROOM)
ELIZABETH: (FOLLOWING JENNIFER) For about eight years.
JENNIFER: (CONFUSED AS TO WHY COLIN NEVER MENTIONED ELIZABETH) Oh. Here he is. Colin, your fiancée is here.
COLIN: (SHOCKED TO SEE ELIZABETH) Liz? My aunt told you I was here?
ELIZABETH: But of course. I was getting a wee bit hungry and wanted to know if you would care to join me in a little 'sup. I cannot eat another day at that wretched pub.
COLIN looks embarrassed. JENNIFER and JO exchange looks as ABBY admires ELIZABETH'S heels.
COLIN: Well, actually, I was having dinner here with Jennifer and her family. (TO JENNIFER TO HELP HIM OUT) Jennifer-
JENNIFER: He was just about to call you, Elizabeth. Eggplant Parm is okay?
ELIZABETH: (NOT HAPPY WITH COLIN NOR JENNIFER) It will do.
JENNIFER: (TAKEN BACK) Oh. Well, Elizabeth I'd like you to meet Jo, my husb--, well, Jack's mother and my and Jack's daughter, Abby.
ELIZABETH nods to the two of them and they nervously smile back.
ELIZABETH: (THROWING COLIN A LOOK) And where is this, this Jack that you speak of?
JENNIFER: Well, he's gone to-(THE DOOR OPENS AND JACK AND GRETA ENTER). Speak of the devil, he's here now. (SEEING JACK) Jack, Greta, I'd like you to meet Elizabeth, Colin's fiancée, she'll be joining us for dinner as well. Elizabeth, this is Greta, (CORRECTING HERSELF) Princess Greta, and my, well, my Jack.
JACK is shocked. He knows ELIZABETH from somewhere. OUT on JACK dropping the bag of groceries and GRETA catching them before they hit the ground. EVERYONE is in shock.
END OF EPISODE 41
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