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In This Life

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CALLIOPE has come over to the DEVERAUX house to give JENNIFER her final fitting for her wedding dress. The wedding is in just a little over a week, and JENNIFER is attempting to multi-task by taking care of last-minute details on the phone while CALLIOPE is fussing with her. ABBY is sitting patiently nearby in her flower girl dress, watching and trying not to get in the way.

JENNIFER: (stressed) The date on the order is when?! Oh no... Oh no, no, no... We need the flowers there on December 31, not January 1! The wedding is on New Year's Eve!

ABBY: (to CALLIOPE) I like your earrings. Are those real strawberries?

CALLIOPE: (laughing) No, sweetie, they're not real. But they're fun, don't you think so?

ABBY nods, as CALLIOPE tries to work while JENNIFER is on the phone, pacing.

CALLIOPE: Honey, could you... could you please stand still for just a second...

JENNIFER: What do you mean am I sure? Of course I'm sure, it's my wedding! I should know when my own wedding is going to be! I- (the phone beeps) Could you hold on for a second? (switches to the other line) Hello?

CALLIOPE: Raise your arms for me real quick, will you?

JENNIFER obliges, albeit with difficulty, since she is trying to balance the phone on her shoulder.

JENNIFER: (into the phone) You can't get there until 6:30? But the wedding starts at 3:30! No, please, you can't- (to CALLIOPE, with her jaw wide open in shock) The photographer just hung up on me, can you believe that? (sighs) I'm going to have to recruit an old friend from The Spectator at this short notice... (switches over to the other line) Hello? Hi, thanks for holding...

CALLIOPE: (looking over at ABBY) I am so glad I don't have to do this again.

ABBY giggles.

CALLIOPE: My advice to you, kid? Elope!

JACK, who has just come home, walks into the living room just in time to hear CALLIOPE'S comment.

JACK: I beg your pardon! I'll thank you not to fill my daughter's head with such foolish notions. When I find a suitable enough groom for her, she will be getting married in a real ceremony-

JENNIFER and CALLIOPE: (simultaneously, after seeing him) Jack!!

CALLIOPE attempts to cover JACK'S eyes.

JENNIFER: (hanging up the phone) What are you doing here, Jack?! You're supposed to be at Saxton's, getting fitted for your tux!

JACK: (ducks out of CALLIOPE'S way) My tailor is out for the day, so I told them I'd just come back tomorrow morning-

JENNIFER: But we're supposed to pick up Jo and Adrienne and her family from the airport tomorrow morning! We need two cars or we'll never fit!

CALLIOPE: (overlapping) You can't be here! (manages to get a hold of him and covers his eyes) She's in her wedding dress, for crying out loud! Don't you know that's bad luck?

JACK: Oh, come on now, Calliope! Don't tell me you still believe that old wives' tale?

CALLIOPE and JENNIFER: (simultaneously) It is not an old wives' tale!

JACK: (peeling CALLIOPE'S fingers off him) Look, the pendulum has swung completely to the other side as far as my luck goes. Not to worry-

JENNIFER: (covering his eyes with one hand, and covering his mouth with the other) Don't! Don't say things like that, Jack, it tempts fate...

JACK: (frees his mouth) Jennifer, please! Not in front of the child! You know, you're exposing her to all sorts of outdated, inaccurate-

JENNIFER: I am not taking any chances, do you hear me? (to CALLIOPE) Could you take over while I go change out of this? (takes ABBY'S hand) Come on, baby, Mommy needs help with her dress... Then we'll go over to Grandma's where we can finish our fitting without Daddy being in the way-

CALLIOPE: (suddenly panicking) No!!

JENNIFER: What do you mean? I thought we were still in the middle of the fitting-

CALLIOPE: No, Jennifer, uh... you can't. We can't go to Alice's right now...

OUT on JENNIFER'S curiosity.



JENNIFER has just suggested that she, ABBY, and CALLIOPE go to ALICE'S to finish their fitting so JACK will not be able to see her in her wedding dress. CALLIOPE protests, and JENNIFER wonders why.

JENNIFER: Why can't we go to Grandma's? Seeing as how Jack doesn't seem to be planning on leaving the house any time soon, and we can't have him peeking in on my dress...

JACK grins.

CALLIOPE: (still covering JACK'S eyes) Because... because... (trying to think of a good reason, laughing nervously all the while) I forgot to tell you, Alice called while you were changing earlier-

ABBY: No, she didn't...

CALLIOPE: (giving ABBY a "don't give me away" look) Oh yes she did, sweetie, you uh... just didn't hear the phone ring...

JENNIFER: Wait, why did Grandma call?

CALLIOPE: She called to uh... she called to say she'd be coming over here in a little bit, so it'd be silly to go over there now-

JENNIFER: Oh, well then I can call her right back and tell her to just stay put there-

CALLIOPE: No!! You can't do that either...

JENNIFER: (amused) What's wrong with you? You're acting a little strange...

JACK: You're just noticing this now?

CALLIOPE jabs him in the ribs.

CALLIOPE: You know what, I'm sure she's already on her way, so there's no use calling her.

JENNIFER: Well, how about we go to your place, then-

JACK: (sighs) All right, all right, if you're going to go to great lengths just to keep me from breaking an age-old tradition, why don't I just make it easier on everyone by making myself scarce? I'll just (pries CALLIOPE'S hand off his face) go elsewhere for a few hours and you ladies can continue your... well, whatever it is you're doing.

JENNIFER: (covers his eyes, gives him a kiss) Thank you, Jack.

JACK: (embarrassed) Yes, well...

CALLIOPE: Yes, Jack, that's so sweet of you to offer... Bye! (ushering JACK out the door)

JACK: (smirks) Don't mention it. (calling out to JENNIFER and ABBY) I'll see you two later-

CALLIOPE: (smiling at him as she practically pushes him out the door) Yes, later... Bye, Jack! (to herself, after he has left) Much, much later...

She turns back to JENNIFER and ABBY and claps her hands together.

CALLIOPE: Okay, girls, let's get back to work, times a-wastin'!

JENNIFER and ABBY do not notice her mysterious smile.



JACK has decided to visit VERN while JENNIFER and ABBY are with CALLIOPE. VERN is working when JACK knocks on his door.

VERN: (looking up from the computer) Jack!

JACK: Uh... hello, Vern. (beat) Surprise.

He feels awkward being here, and doesn't really want to give away the real reason why he's chosen to come here of all places.

JACK: (clears throat) Is the coast clear?

VERN: (knowing grin) You mean is Kate around?

JACK: Yes, that would be the direct translation, yes.

VERN: You're in luck. I heard she's started her Christmas vacation early so she's off this whole week.

JACK: Celebrating the yuletide with her beloved husband, no doubt.

VERN: So what brings you by to this neck of the woods?

JACK: Oh well, I've... I've been banished from my house for the next few hours.

VERN: (laughs) Jenny-girl finally came to her senses, huh?

JACK gives him a sarcastic smile.

VERN: I'm just teasing you, Jack. (goes back to working) So you missed this place, huh?

JACK: (dryly) What makes you think that?

VERN: Well, why else would you come here?

JACK: I told you, I've been expelled from my own home-

VERN: I know, but why here, instead of... Salem Place, or-

JACK: Well, if you must know... I did come here for a reason. I, uh... (tries to think of a good excuse) I came to hang around the news room.

VERN: (incredulous) The news room?

JACK: (happy with his excuse) Yes! Yes, you know, maybe pick up a few tips, maybe even scoop this rag on something-

VERN: Jack, Jack, who do you think you're fooling?

JACK: I beg your pardon?

VERN: Oh come on, you're not here to scoop us, you're here because you miss this place. (beat) Just admit it.


VERN: Come on, Jack!

JACK: All right, all right! I guess I... (mumbling) miss it here...

VERN: What was that?

JACK: (giving VERN the evil eye for making him say it again) I said that...

VERN cups his ear, which only annoys JACK even more.

JACK: I said that in some small way... that... I might miss it here. Maybe. A little.

OUT on VERN'S smug smile.



It is now ABBY'S turn to be fitted. JENNIFER is back in her own clothes watching CALLIOPE and ABBY, wondering why ALICE has not arrived yet.

JENNIFER: I wonder where Grandma could be...

CALLIOPE: (having forgotten the lie she told earlier) Hmm?

JENNIFER: Well, you said she was coming right over, right?

CALLIOPE: (to ABBY) Turn around for me, sweetie... (to JENNIFER) I did? (realizing what JENNIFER is talking about) I did!!! Yes, I did... Well, um... I'm sure she'll be here any minute now...

JENNIFER: I think I'll go call her just to make sure. (gets the phone and dials)


ALICE: Hello?

JENNIFER: Grandma, you are still there!

ALICE: Of course, I am, Jennifer Rose, where else would I be?

JENNIFER: (confused) What do you mean where else would you be, you're supposed to be here, remember?

ALICE: I am?

JENNIFER: (looking over to CALLIOPE, who's got a guilty look on her face) Yes, Calliope said you called earlier and said you were coming over. We were going to go over there to do the fitting, but she said since you were coming over here-

ALICE: (putting two and two together and realizing CALLIOPE made up the excuse so JENNIFER would not find out about her surprise) Oh yes!! Yes, that's right, how silly of me, I guess I just forgot...

JENNIFER: (starting to get suspicious now) You forgot?

ALICE: Yes, yes, well I was working on the rice packets for Hope's wedding, and I completely lost track of time.

JENNIFER: All right Grandma, what's going on? What are you and Calliope up to?

CALLIOPE gives JENNIFER a guilty smile.



JACK is looking over VERN'S shoulder as VERN is working.

JACK: So... what are we working on?

VERN gives JACK a look for invading his space like this. JACK gets the hint and pulls away.

VERN: I'm working on a series that Kate wanted us to do on that princess.

JACK: (fiddling with VERN'S stapler, not really listening) Princess?

VERN: Yeah, you know, Greta von Amburg? The princess who's living here in Salem and is supposed to be crowned in Paris in six weeks? Kate wanted us to do a profile on her. A series of articles chronicling the events leading up to the coronation.

JACK: (droll) How newsworthy. (puts down the stapler) Boy, Kate really has a nose for news, doesn't she?

VERN: No, no, Jack, it's been a really hot sell. People are loving it--we're getting the same response we got with your von Leuschner articles.

JACK: (shuddering) Oh yes, there's a real highlight in my career-

His cell phone rings.

JACK: Jack Deveraux here. Yes, yes, I was in there earlier, and they told me he was out for the day... Oh he's back in? Excellent! Yes, I can be there in half an hour-

VERN panics when he hears JACK making plans for this afternoon.

VERN: Wait, Jack, no!!

JACK: I'm sorry, could you hold on one moment? (to VERN) What the hell are you talking about, no? I happen to be on the phone with Saxton's, and Jennifer's going to kill me if I don't get my tux by today-

VERN: You can't meet him in half an hour!

JACK: What do you mean I can't meet him in half an hour? Look, I can't do it tomorrow morning because Jennifer and I have to pick up my mother and sister and her family, so I'm going to have to do it this afternoon-

VERN: No, Jack, you can't. Tell him you can't do it!

JACK: I most certainly will not-

VERN grabs the phone and hangs up on the tailor.

OUT on JACK looking at him in shock.



JENNIFER: Well, Grandma?

ALICE: Well what, Jennifer Rose?

JENNIFER: Nice try, answering my question with a question. What's going on here, why are you and Calliope acting so funny? Why couldn't I come over there earlier?

ALICE: I never said you couldn't come here earlier.

JENNIFER: Well Calliope said-

ALICE: Oh, you know Calliope, she probably misunderstood... No, I was just... working on the favors for Hope's reception-

JENNIFER: I thought you said you were working on the rice packets?

ALICE: (realizing her slip) Yes, yes, of course, that's what I meant... (laughs to cover up her mistake, hoping she isn't ruining JENNIFER'S surprise)

JENNIFER: I never thought I'd see the day when you would be acting as weird as Calliope.

CALLIOPE: (offended) Hey!

JENNIFER: (smiles) You know what I mean.

ALICE: Well, I'm sorry for this mix-up, dear, but I tell you what, why don't you and Abby come over here right now with Calliope? I could use some help with Hope's favors.

JENNIFER: You mean the rice packets?

ALICE: Yes, those too. (beat) Will you come over?

JENNIFER: (exasperated laugh) Okay, we'll be there in a bit. Bye... (shrugs, looks at ABBY) I guess we are headed to Grandma's after all. I'll go get your coat...


ALICE: (to herself, with a grin) I hope you and Hope enjoy your surprise, Jennifer Rose...

OUT on ALICE'S mysterious smile.


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